Letter to A Friend

"i was just writing to say thank you.
for what you ask?
for everything
for caring
for loving
for not holding my hand
for letting me into your world
for giving me a chance
for competing with me in elemtary school
for dancing with me when i didn't know what i was doing
for the phone calls and letters that lifted me above it all
for having e-mail
for writing back
for reaching out to me and building that bridge
for going with me that weekend
for making me the envy of everyone (she looks good!)
for making it a wonderful weekend
for not wanting me to leave
for the pictures
for the hug
for being the person i always thought would were
and i want to thank you
for going to virginia beach
for going outside
for getting into the car
for not wanting to do it
even if it cost you your life.
thank you
for not letting me tell you i love you
for giving me the courage to not let it happen again
for letting me know who my friends are
for all the tears
for all the anger
for all the screaming
for all the rage
for all the suffering
for all of it.
i can't change what has happened
i wish i could
i don't know if i would stop what happened to you
it's a part of life, death
but i would tell you all that i wanted to
that night in your dorm room
who knows
things might be different now
but that's a job for quantum leap
i wish i could tell you all this in person
but i have to settle for this letter
maybe one day i will find you again
and i can tell you all i ever wanted to
and you can say, 'i know. i've always known'
and i can laugh
at how silly i was being
but until then
i am going to be silly
and i am going to miss you
and i am going to never forget you
so when that day comes
i want you to be waiting
and get comfortable
because i've got a lot to say.
see you soon,
mike"